Someday the dreaded day will arrive. The day I have to explain to my children that daddy is an addict. I have never played this situation out in my head before. My kids are three and a half years old, and I figure I have a little time. So as I write this, I will be improvising the situation.
Let me start by saying this. As of today, the day I write this blog, I am 3 years and nine months clean and sober from drugs. Now when the day comes that I have to explain to my children that daddy is an addict I would hope and pray that it is just continued sobriety and no relapses. One day at a time. So the conversation, to me, looks something like this:
I think I would start by explaining what addiction is, and how I have lived with it for many years of my life. I was once told about teaching your kids the seven C’s. I think is was brought to us by The National Association for Children of Alcoholics. These are the things your child needs to know.
• I didn’t CAUSE it.
• I can’t CURE it.
• I can’t CONTROL it.
• I can CARE for myself
• By COMMUNICATING my feelings,
• Making healthy CHOICES, and
• By CELEBRATING myself.
The reason I bring these up is because I foresee myself talking to them about my past, and how they don’t have to go down the same road I did. I would hope and pray I’m not explaining to them why I am leaving for 3 months because I am using again.
Now let me just stop for a second. I have been sitting here in front of my computer for about an hour figuring out what I would say, and the best way to say it. I have been through many situations, with many different outcomes. So I stop here to say this.
I love my children with all I am. The truth is, I don’t know what I will tell them when the time comes. Probably because I will just speak from the heart, and let God lead the conversation. I will dedicate the days in between to myself. So when that day comes, they will have never seen the man I once was. Just the daddy that they grew to love.